to a swindling distant relative...

the reason why you
come is
my money.

you come limping
like a frog whose
hind foot is bitten
by a snake.

you show a face of
failure.
you lose some teeth.
your hair is becoming
grey.

you have always lied
to me.
But i never tire
giving you what you want.

when you leave this
room
i am relieved.

a thorn is lifted
from my brain.

i am happy
i am not like you.

that lady of judas....

what you do not know
shall not hurt you.

it is I, who know all
these. I am therefore hurt.

I am hurt, and i will
not tell you.

what i will not tell you
does not hurt you.

this is the real
justification for silence.

i never want to hurt you
and so i keep hurting myself.

this is the justification of my
love.

this love that keeps being
hurt.

and i will always be hurt.
and this is the justification of
my christianity.

to the dancing faithfuls of san vicente

i do not really know what was it that made me cry.
I stopped somewhere in the middle of the crowd
who were dancing to the gong beats of
senyor san vicente in olingan.

how can a very disappointing life make you dance?

there were stories of course.

that woman cannot bear a child,
that man had three kids who died in a car accident.
the hunchback of this town has a wish.
the old lady has no place to live.
and so on and so forth

these are all people with lamentations.
i am only knowing things on the surface.
they never allow me to go deeper because if i have
to go deeper
they bleed some more and their drops of blood
become dry on the pavement
which not all can see

meanwhile senyor san vicente keeps spreading its
plaster of paris wings, white with its new paint.

the dances perhaps do not know the story
that he can be in many places at the same hour.

what they know is that this saint is miraculous.
something amazing will happen in their lives
after the saddest sound of their dance steps.

sonorous, monotonous, by analogy it could be like
a scream for help, for justice, for understanding of what
is happening to their lives.

and the eventual acceptance of their fates.

i do not know why i am crying. I really do not know why.