antidote

If you want to know what i ache for,
my heart's longings

If you want to know if i risk my life for love
whether i take all the adventures of being alive


If you want to know if you i have touched the center of your sorrow,
if i have been opened up by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

If you want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
if i can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill me
to the tips of my fingers and toes
without cautioning myself to be careful, be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.


If you want to know if you i betray another to be true to yourself;
if i can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray my own soul.

If you want to know if i can be faithful
If you want to know if i can see beauty even when it's not a pretty day,
and if i can source my life from God's absence.

If you want to know if i can live with failure
and stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the moon,"Fuck you!"


if it interests you how i can get up after a night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done


If you want to know if i will stand in the center of the fire
and not shrink back.


If you want to know what sustains me from the inside when all else fails

If you want to know if i can be alone with myself,
whether i truly like my empty moments

I'm sorry, but i keep all these matters to myself
I shall only share with you what happiness is

My grief and sorrow are mine for you have yours too.
What shall all my lamentations do for you?

You have your own share, I have my own too
And the adage becomes true: “Sorrow happens, hardship happens, the hell with it!