and where i shall go after?

we are two who have become one
because of the law, we thought it was
because of love, too late we found it
not to be that,

too late, for us who find ourselves
naked in bed, and then find nothing
desirable at the end, our eyes stare
at the ceiling finding no stars, no moon,
but just wood, and yes this bulb which
i bought at a cheaper price, and now
about to flicker,

you say, we shall endure, what will
others say? shall we break an oath?
shall we put ourselves to the shame
of our elders and the law? i say
nothing. i am worried about the flicker.
Soon it will end. And this room will
be dark, and i won't hold your hand
neither will i embrace your body.

i put my hands above my abdomen
in prayer and you see me before that
light dies, and you smile, as i pretend
that i am dead.

That is your dream i know. And mine
too, perhaps. How i wish i'd been
clear to myself, who i am, what to do,
and where i shall go after?