i did not say ilove you

there is something wrong with my
beliefs
perhaps my codes are rambled
again
my cards are in disarray and my
locks of hair are rising to the air
i look like an electrified hippie

i want to say i care for you and
even i love you but i just can't

there is a lump in my throat and
with my own hands using the mirror
of my car, i look at it, there is blood,
and there is a porcupine inside it,
wanting to come out, but it can't
entangled like a hook in the gills of
a fluffy fish, poisoned and dead.